Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
