He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
