Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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