Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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