i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
