Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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