In America we eat man semen.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
