Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
