So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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