i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
