I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
