The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dicks are not precious.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
