I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about youâ€
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