I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
