it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
