just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's blow job season.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
