where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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