After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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