Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
