New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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