He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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