absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
