ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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