My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
