so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
