You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
