You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
