My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
