i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
