you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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