KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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