but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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