i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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