One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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