I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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