and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
