i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
