Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
