i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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