all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
