just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
