In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
