Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
