Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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