I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
