Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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