I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
