And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
