Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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