Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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